Dearest depression

Written by: Micaleb Lawrence

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You come uninvited and interrupt my growth.

Mess with my flow

of life, of living.

You will me with your sadness and misery.

When you are here, I feel nothing

I am nothing

all I do is push people away.

I have no visitors,

besides you.

You come often

never have I ever asked you to come, yet

you find yourself taking over my aura.

For some time, you take control and I lose myself.

I feel numb and sink into a dark hole.

I wonder if you know what that hole is like?

You do not seem to understand the concept of letting go.

People say your presence is in my imagination.

They give me drugs so that you can stay away,

yet you always find your way back.

Why do you do this?

Why do you make me cry when I was smiling?

Why when I am at my best do you come along and insist on making me feel my worst?

You are terrible for my wellbeing.

With you, I am not well.

When you come you come with an intention.

The intention is to hurt me.

Numb me.

Break me.

Why do you do this?

Do you enjoy my sadness?

Do you enjoy my suffering?

I am asking you.

I need to know why you are here.

Why do I feel this way?

I barely feel human.

I am not half full.

Just empty.

Next time,

you sink into the hole.

Sink into it and feel the dark space.

The space that barely has space.

That empty space.

Know what it is like to feel so much

yet feel nothing.

Know what it is like to cry out for help but suffer when it is offered.

Know what it is like to put yourself first but be left last

By yourself.

Put yourself in that dark hole,

My Dearest Depression.