the day/today

By Freddy Nyezi

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i barely got out of bed today.

i just drowned in the sea of blankets,

i could not keep

the things that i think about

at bay. all my thoughts,

they ravaged me right there where i lay.

i only journeyed beyond my mattress

when?

i needed to get something out

when?

i needed to get something in

i did not care about the sunshine today,

or the water, or the air, or the earth.

(i cannot say that i cared for myself today)

i did not speak today so

everything

i wanted to say

stayed trapped in my mind,

boiling beneath the surface.

i thought too much today.

i hope that i will get up from bed tomorrow,

i hope that i will be strong enough to make it.

i hope that i care enough

to feel the rays of joy ricocheting

off of my skin,

that i care enough

to have the day

wipe my tears away,

to care enough

to have happiness

fill up my lungs again,

and to care enough

to let the sand between my toes

tickle me from underneath.

i hope the day can promise me this.